Blood and Guts: Helena Lazaro

Ok! Here’s a new one for everybody! This young man hails from Nebraska. He found my profile on yahoo and IMed. He is also from the school of not-reading-the-three-details-on-the-profile. Notice, he has no idea how old I am! Also notice that in his profile, he states under interests, “Amateurs.” The pic I sent him is linked to in the profile. It came from Herbal Smoke Shop.

Ok, without further ado…LATE!

Continue reading I’m the One in Pink…

Ok! Here’s a new one for everybody! This young man hails from Nebraska. He found my profile on yahoo and IMed. He is also from the school of not-reading-the-three-details-on-the-profile. Notice, he has no idea how old I am! Also notice that in his profile, he states under interests, “Amateurs.” The pic I sent him is linked to in the profile. It came from Herbal Smoke Shop.

Ok, without further ado…LATE!

Continue reading I’m the One in Pink…

This is great! This is another guy from the yahoo personals web page. I’m telling you, this place is a treasure trove. An absolute goldmine! I think I actually managed to scare this one away. Now I have a new tactic!!!

iicopticii has selected the “Personals Subscriber” IMVironment.
iicopticii (3:28:09 PM): wanna get lyd
wwwpoethelenacom (3:29:32 PM): Yes, I would love to
wwwpoethelenacom (3:29:40 PM): It’s been forever since I got lyd
iicopticii (3:29:47 PM): lol
iicopticii (3:29:52 PM): come over
wwwpoethelenacom (3:30:09 PM): You don’t even have a photo on your profile!
iicopticii (3:30:24 PM): ill send one
wwwpoethelenacom (3:30:33 PM): ok
wwwpoethelenacom (3:31:03 PM): is this work appropriate?
iicopticii (3:31:09 PM): sure
[This is the photo he sends, of dubious work safe condition]
wwwpoethelenacom (3:32:09 PM): Are you the one with the nice tits?
iicopticii (3:32:23 PM): arent u female
wwwpoethelenacom (3:32:37 PM): You know, some people say that you shouldn’t send photos of you with other dates
wwwpoethelenacom (3:32:43 PM): but I say the hell with them
iicopticii (3:32:46 PM): lol
iicopticii (3:32:49 PM): oh u got it huh
wwwpoethelenacom (3:33:10 PM): Yeah, but wouldn’t you like it better if I was a little into the girl on girl action?
wwwpoethelenacom (3:33:19 PM): I thought guys like you ate that shit up
iicopticii (3:33:45 PM): ok
wwwpoethelenacom (3:33:48 PM): So, what do you say? You, me, and the girl in the photo
iicopticii (3:33:54 PM): thats my sister
wwwpoethelenacom (3:33:58 PM): and a bottle of boone’s
wwwpoethelenacom (3:34:03 PM): Well, that’s a little kinky
wwwpoethelenacom (3:34:05 PM): even for me
wwwpoethelenacom (3:34:17 PM): Your sister’s hot, dude.
wwwpoethelenacom (3:35:54 PM): Sorry, was that a little too freaky for you?
wwwpoethelenacom (3:36:18 PM): I guess that even someone who blindly propositions women for sex on dating sites has standards.

This is great! This is another guy from the yahoo personals web page. I’m telling you, this place is a treasure trove. An absolute goldmine! I think I actually managed to scare this one away. Now I have a new tactic!!!

iicopticii has selected the “Personals Subscriber” IMVironment.
iicopticii (3:28:09 PM): wanna get lyd
wwwpoethelenacom (3:29:32 PM): Yes, I would love to
wwwpoethelenacom (3:29:40 PM): It’s been forever since I got lyd
iicopticii (3:29:47 PM): lol
iicopticii (3:29:52 PM): come over
wwwpoethelenacom (3:30:09 PM): You don’t even have a photo on your profile!
iicopticii (3:30:24 PM): ill send one
wwwpoethelenacom (3:30:33 PM): ok
wwwpoethelenacom (3:31:03 PM): is this work appropriate?
iicopticii (3:31:09 PM): sure
[This is the photo he sends, of dubious work safe condition]
wwwpoethelenacom (3:32:09 PM): Are you the one with the nice tits?
iicopticii (3:32:23 PM): arent u female
wwwpoethelenacom (3:32:37 PM): You know, some people say that you shouldn’t send photos of you with other dates
wwwpoethelenacom (3:32:43 PM): but I say the hell with them
iicopticii (3:32:46 PM): lol
iicopticii (3:32:49 PM): oh u got it huh
wwwpoethelenacom (3:33:10 PM): Yeah, but wouldn’t you like it better if I was a little into the girl on girl action?
wwwpoethelenacom (3:33:19 PM): I thought guys like you ate that shit up
iicopticii (3:33:45 PM): ok
wwwpoethelenacom (3:33:48 PM): So, what do you say? You, me, and the girl in the photo
iicopticii (3:33:54 PM): thats my sister
wwwpoethelenacom (3:33:58 PM): and a bottle of boone’s
wwwpoethelenacom (3:34:03 PM): Well, that’s a little kinky
wwwpoethelenacom (3:34:05 PM): even for me
wwwpoethelenacom (3:34:17 PM): Your sister’s hot, dude.
wwwpoethelenacom (3:35:54 PM): Sorry, was that a little too freaky for you?
wwwpoethelenacom (3:36:18 PM): I guess that even someone who blindly propositions women for sex on dating sites has standards.

This fellow IMed me through a profile I have at Yahoo Personals. I’m not ashamed to admit it! That’s where to find the best, most ripe and delicious geeks!

I’m surprised he’s looking; I’d think someone with such a silver tongue would be beating them off with sticks! I was able to find out his profile name and get a link to it. The best part about this is that a guy who says, “I am looking for someone who I can share with, travel with, cook with, be inspired by…someone who has conviction and a strong family,” in his profile says shit like “is there anything i can do to make you let me play with them,” when he gets a chance to talk to the actual woman. Sums up so much of the Maleinese-English translation we all have to do when listening to a fella.

The IM is short but sweet. I didn’t have the patience to pretend like I was interested.

(*evil*)

Continue reading Updated! Wonder Why He’s Single?…

This fellow IMed me through a profile I have at Yahoo Personals. I’m not ashamed to admit it! That’s where to find the best, most ripe and delicious geeks!

I’m surprised he’s looking; I’d think someone with such a silver tongue would be beating them off with sticks! I was able to find out his profile name and get a link to it. The best part about this is that a guy who says, “I am looking for someone who I can share with, travel with, cook with, be inspired by…someone who has conviction and a strong family,” in his profile says shit like “is there anything i can do to make you let me play with them,” when he gets a chance to talk to the actual woman. Sums up so much of the Maleinese-English translation we all have to do when listening to a fella.

The IM is short but sweet. I didn’t have the patience to pretend like I was interested.

(*evil*)

Continue reading Updated! Wonder Why He’s Single?…

This was a while ago, on July 11th I believe. This fellow IMs me, I go to look at his profile, and it’s a straight picture of his dick. Well, not a straight picture. He’s like squatting over the camera, and it’s all freaky–like watching an airplane fly over head or something. Anyway, I describe it in such detail because the photo is gone now. And so is the “real” profile I eventually got him to direct me to. Either he doesn’t leave these items up regularly, or our conversation left him unsettled and he took them down. In any case, the goods are gone, but perhaps in the future he will repost them. In the meantime, enjoy the ridiculousness of his essentially flashing a woman and then discussing current comedies with her.

Continue reading Cock Photographer…

Crazy what some people cull from these yahoo profiles. Be sure to read mine first, so you see how little information is contained. It’s so open to the imagination. Really, a virtual playground for our fantasies to roll around in. Also, “the entertainment industry”=”actress.” Also, don’t ignore him. And don’t forget to add, to prove his worth and virility.

Note: To all the fellows chatting us up i-babes, here’s a fun game to play! Try to remember (or at least read) all six pieces of information about the person you IM, before you write to them! It’s challenging and rewarding!

Continue reading Receptionist at the Network=Food Industry Software Developer…

New developments! It seems that Carlo is now under the impression that Lindsey (for that is her name) is actually me. Which she is not. As she told him. But the upshot is that he keeps IMing me (her), and giving me (her) some valuable advice. Such as the following:

guy90026 (6/29/2004 5:59:57 PM): and one last thing, no need to replay to that, i just red some of your stuff also other chat you posted, it is ironic how you post all that, it seems that you are just a really smart woman and funny too…i’ll give you the funny side that you have indeed but don’t flatter yourself too much, after all you are not all that tall and hot so keep writing but lower your ego a bit, it may just help you

I’m going to resist the temptation to make any remarks with the phrase “stubby” or “short” in them, out of respect for Carlo’s feelings. And I’m really going to work on that ego issue. But it will be challenging; you know how highly I think of myself though, and how vain I am.

New developments! It seems that Carlo is now under the impression that Lindsey (for that is her name) is actually me. Which she is not. As she told him. But the upshot is that he keeps IMing me (her), and giving me (her) some valuable advice. Such as the following:

guy90026 (6/29/2004 5:59:57 PM): and one last thing, no need to replay to that, i just red some of your stuff also other chat you posted, it is ironic how you post all that, it seems that you are just a really smart woman and funny too…i’ll give you the funny side that you have indeed but don’t flatter yourself too much, after all you are not all that tall and hot so keep writing but lower your ego a bit, it may just help you

I’m going to resist the temptation to make any remarks with the phrase “stubby” or “short” in them, out of respect for Carlo’s feelings. And I’m really going to work on that ego issue. But it will be challenging; you know how highly I think of myself though, and how vain I am.